Maulana Wahiduddin Khan I The Sunday Guardian I Nov 28, 2021
It is true that adjustment is the only formula for a successful married life. But adjustment for what? It is not adjustment for the sake of adjustment. It is adjustment for a higher purpose, that is, to create a normal environment in which it will be possible to achieve the real purpose of married life.
Married life is not simply co-travelling. It is rather co-sharing. Both partners after married life possess something unique and each needs to share that with the other. Every one of us is born with different qualities, and each one is in need of having a share of them from one’s partner, so that both the partners may develop their personalities in a better way.
In married life both the partners are givers and at the same time takers. So, both the partners need favourable conditions in which it may be possible to benefit from each other.
Life is like a cogwheel. If man has one cog, the woman has the other cog, and both are in need of communion so that a joint effort may be possible.
I know a number of marriages in which both the parties, being aware of this fact, tried to make adjustments. But they were quite conscious that their doing so was not merely for the sake of adjustment, but for the sake of mutual sharing. Thus, their marriage proved to be successful.
One very important aspect of marriage is what I call intellectual partnership. Every day we face problems, every day there are some new issues, every day we have to take some decisions, every day we want to explore some new area in the world of ideas. This is important for everyone, man and woman both. And every one of us needs to have an intellectual partner with whom we can have verbal exchanges, have a dialogue, and try to discover better options. And, according to my experience, the best intellectual partner is no other than your spouse.