If from a vessel containing water a single drop is found to be brackish, it means that all of the liquid is undrinkable. We need sample only of one drop to know with certainty what the rest will be like. Much the same is true of the human personality. It is like an over brimming vessel which keeps on shedding drops for other people to savour, to find sweet or brackish as the case may be. Small instances of an individual's behaviour and quite short interludes in his company are generally sufficient to tell us what his overall personality is like. A thoughtless remark, an unfair manoeuvre, a failure to give much-needed sympathy or support, a devious transaction-all these are the plain indicators, like those brackish drops of water from the larger vessel, which indicate the lack of integrity or callousness of the person you are dealing with.

 

The human personality has the same homogeneity as water. A single human weakness cannot therefore be considered in isolation, as if it were an exception. It has to be looked upon as being representative of the entire personality. If an individual proves unreliable in one matter, he is likely to evince the same unreliability in other matters; if he is guilty of untrustworthiness on one occasion, the chances are that this trait will show up time and time again.

 

There is only one kind of person who is an exception to that rule, and that is the one who subjects his own behaviour to constant re-appraisal, who is continually scrutinizing himself for weaknesses and faults and who, once having found such faults, wastes no time in rooting them out.

 

A man who has made a mistake can completely erase the marks of what is an unfortunate experience for others by admitting his mistake and begging forgiveness. Some people are pricked by their consciences, but do nothing to assuage the ruffled feelings of others, thinking that to do so would be sheer weakness and would mean a loss of face. Such people can never have healthy social relationships and can never win the respect of their fellow men. They do not realize that a man displays his true mettle when he sees his own wrong actions for what they are, and humbly asks forgiveness.

 

It is only he who has learned the art of moral introspection who will, in the long run, prove himself a person of inviolable integrity.

The Speaking Tree | Sunday, August 15, 2010

 

Yes. Prayer means establishing contact with the higher reality and that higher reality is the source of all kinds of inspiration. It is also a source of great solace. So prayer, if it is genuine, will certainly help in developing focus and making you a better person.

In general, I can say that normally people think that they should want an ideal life. A woman wants an ideal husband and an ideal family etc. which is not possible in this world. If this law of nature is understood, there will not be any such stress.

 

I read in the newspaper that Shahrukh Khan travelled to America and for two hours he was detained and checked. People created a lot of hue and cry that Americans should seek forgiveness. I thought that Shahrukh Khan and all others should think that it was only for two hours but soon a day will come when I will be checked for everything and so I should pray that the same happens in the hereafter and we get past quickly. It is because of these things that people take negative lessons. A positive person is one who takes a positive lesson from such instances.

The Speaking Tree | Sunday, August 15, 2010

The difference between the two is very clear. True hope is based on reality, while false hope is based on sheer romanticism. When you examine a situation and take a realistic view of things, you have the right to be hopeful, but when you ignore the realities and adopt an ostrich-like approach, then, you are entertaining false hopes.

You can pacify it by exercising patience. Patience is not a passive attitude. Patience is another name for controlled behaviour. You have to control your feelings rather than be controlled by them. This is an elevated intellectual exercise. Do not succumb to your emotions and you will be able to manage the situation quite easily.

Speaking Tree | TOI | May 8, 2011

The World champions often possess equal physical strength and capabilities, and receive training of an almost equal standard. Then why does one win and another lose? This question has been a topic of research in America for the past three years. The report of the group of scientists working on this has recently been published.

 

They chose the top international wrestlers and made comparisons of their physical strength and psychological reserves. They found out that there is one marked difference between the winners and the losers in world competitions. It is not a physical difference, yet it plays the most crucial role in winning or losing a competition. The experts discovered that the winners were more conscientious and in control of themselves than the losers. The report is summed up as follows:

 

"Losers tended to be more depressed and confused before competing, while the winners were positive and relaxed."(The Times of India, 26 July 1981). This applies equally to the broader field of life. In life when two individuals or two groups confront one another, their victory or defeat does not depend so much on material resources as on intellectual and psychological reserves.

 

The conviction that one's goals are worthwhile, the observation of discipline with no contradiction between words and thoughts, cool thinking, even in times of crisis-all these are qualities of mind and heart which determine success, and obviate failure in the wider field of life.

One of the important points made in the UNESCO constitution is as follows:

"Since war began in the minds of men it is in the mind that the defence of peace must be constructed."

This is an indisputable fact. Whether the quarrel is between two people on the street, or between groups or nations, the origin of all such incidents lies in the mind. It is in the mind that feelings of hatred, revenge and anger are produced, and when these spill over into provocation, the result is some measure of conflict, ranging from petty squabbling to full-scale war.

Largely speaking, negative thoughts arise in reaction to untoward behaviour on the part of others. Someone insults us and we become angry. An unpleasant situation is created--unnecessarily, we think-by someone, and we are provoked by this. Someone damages our prestige and we therefore seek revenge. All these vengeful impulses take shape first of all in our minds and when they are externalized, they wreak havoc. If peace could be established at the level of the mind, before there is any physical escalation of strife, the world would be a much better place to live in.

The only effective way to prevent quarrels, whether at the individual or at the national or international level, is to train people's minds: patience should be emphasized as the greatest of all virtues.

Such a mentality can be developed only if negative thinking is replaced by positive thinking. This should be directed at resistance to provocation and the avoidance of all unpleasantness and consequent entanglements. It must provide the basis for cool and unemotional decision-making, and, above all, for return of love for hatred.

Such a reform of the mind would lead to the most positive reconstruction of human affairs ever witnessed in human history.

Source: Simple Wisdom

Speaking Tree | TOI | May 8, 2011

People are hesitant to say, 'I was wrong', because they believe it's an admission of their mistake before another person; they are not ready to do that. But it's not just a question of admitting your mistake; it is also a question of accepting the reality. Accepting reality leads to intellectual growth; it raises your intellectual level. When you say, 'I was wrong,' you are helping your own intellectual progress.

A man was riding his bicycle one day when suddenly his brake jammed. Luckily there was a bicycle repair-shop nearby, so he took his bike there to have it fixed. Thinking that the mechanic would fix the brake at the point where it was jammed, the cyclist was surprised to see him tap away with a small hammer at a completely different place. Before he was able to express his surprise, however, the mechanic handed the bike over. "That's fixed it. You can take it away now," he said. And off the cyclist rode, with his bike once again running smoothly.

What was true of this bicycle is true also of human society. When there is something wrong with society, people usually jump to the conclusion that where the malaise lies, there also lies the cure. But this is not the case. Usually the root of the malaise lies in a different place, far away from the symptoms. Until the cause is removed, the malaise itself will not go away.

For instance, there might be a lack of solidarity in society, or one's people may be the victims of oppression. A society may be beset with an atmosphere of intrigue, with the result that its voice carries no weight in the world. Detecting these symptoms, one who determines to right the ills of society might think that the cure lies in calling meetings and conventions in order to bring people together, feeding them emotional speeches and passing high-sounding resolutions and so on.

But this is not the way to cure the actual ills of society. To do so, one has to work on the cause, not the symptoms, for usually one will find that while a problem seems to be afflicting one part of society, the cure lies elsewhere. If there is a lack of solidarity, for instance, the reason for this is the failure of individuals to stand together. It is the individual, then, who has to be worked on. Solidarity has to be achieved at an individual level before it can come about in society. For it is a law of nature, and human society is no exception, that for a tree to bear good fruit, it is the seed, not the fruit itself, that has to be improved.

Source: Simple Wisdom

Speaking Tree| TOI | April 2, 2011

Youth is full of aspirations. One needs to learn the art of controlling one's desires. Most young people follow their whims and fancies, often with undesirable results. They hanker after things which they think are important in life, but they are mistaken in their belief. Glamour doesn't last long, but the knowledge they acquire will stand them in good stead all through life.