The Problem of
Sectarianism
The solution to the sectarian problem is just as simple as the solution to family problems. We see that every family lives together in unity. Similarly, different sects can also live together peacefully. What is needed is that the same principle under which family members live together should be adopted by different sects in the country. The principle that ensures harmony within a family can also ensure unity in society. This is the only path to success—both inside and outside the home.
On a larger scale, the sectarian problem is essentially the same as what we call a family problem on a smaller scale. Family problems arise between relatives, while sectarian problems arise between different sects. A home is a small family; a country is a large family. The difference is only in degree—not in nature.
Everyone knows that problems occur within families. Disagreements arise, and people sometimes hurt each other through words or actions. Yet, something holds the family together and prevents it from breaking apart. That secret of unity within a family is the same secret needed for national unity. If individuals apply the lessons they learn within their families to national life, then social conflict will not occur.
Every wise person knows that the key to resolving family problems is mutual respect. When a disagreement occurs, one should remain calm, reflect, and try to resolve the matter rather than make it worse. Problems should not be treated as the end of a relationship but as temporary issues that can be overcome.
This mindset creates a habit of tolerance among family members. And tolerance is the only reliable solution to all kinds of disagreements. A wise father, as the head of the family, always teaches that family members must respect each other, offer mutual support, and think not just about their rights but also about their responsibilities. When someone makes a mistake, others should respond with patience and forgiveness.
This is the secret of family unity—and this is also the secret of national unity. All sectarian conflicts arise because people fail to apply the principles of family life to society at large.
The root cause of sectarian conflict is that people take problems inside the home seriously and try to resolve them, but they do not do the same for problems outside the home. At home, unpleasant events happen daily, but people tolerate them because they know that intolerance would break the family. However, when a similar unpleasant incident occurs outside the home, people respond with anger. The only way to resolve sectarian issues is to eliminate this double standard in people’s thinking.
I recall a gentleman from my childhood who often recited a couplet to his relatives. He used to say, “Just remember this one couplet, and all your family problems will vanish.” The couplet was:
Kabhi bhool kar kisi se na karo sulook aisa
Ke jo tum se koi karta tumhe nagawaar hota
Never treat anyone in such a way
That if someone treated you the same, you would dislike it
This couplet beautifully expresses the meaning of a Hadith in poetic form. Without a doubt, it is one of the greatest principles for successful social living. If people follow this one teaching, all problems—whether within the home or outside—will be resolved.
Consider this example: Mr. A and Mr. B lived in the same neighborhood. One day, Mr. A’s son misbehaved with Mr. B’s son and provoked his anger. In retaliation, Mr. B’s son struck Mr. A’s son. At this point, Mr. A came out and began lecturing Mr. B’s family about the importance of living peacefully and practicing humanity. He said nothing to his own son, placed all the blame on Mr. B’s son, and kept giving one-sided advice on morality and good conduct.
On the surface, Mr. A’s advice may seem right. But in context, it was unjust. By saying nothing to his own son, he encouraged misbehaviour. His message to the other boy became a message of mischief to his own son.
This example highlights how most people view issues through the lens of “ours” and “theirs.” When someone from their own group errs, they downplay it. When someone from another group does the same, they magnify it. This double standard is the root of all conflict. If people adopt a fair-minded approach, and treat outsiders with the same compassion they show their own, conflict will disappear. Violence and bitterness will naturally fade away.
Recently, I met a businessman in Jeddah who has worked in many countries and is very successful. I asked him, “What is the secret to living peacefully with others?” He replied, “The same principle that the Quran calls i‘raaz —to overlook unpleasant things instead of confronting them. Whenever conflict arises, I am ready to step back. That’s why I never face obstacles.”
He shared an experience: once a man got angry with him and came the next day, shouting and threatening him. “I remained silent,” he said. “When he finished, I told him, ‘Do whatever you like. But I too have a weapon.’ He asked, ‘What weapon?’ I said, ‘The more you curse me, the more I will pray for you. The more you try to crush me, the more I will bow before you.’ Hearing this, the man walked away silently—and never troubled me again.”
He added, “This approach doesn’t just save me from harm—it gives me tremendous courage. Hatred makes a person cowardly. Love makes a person brave.” This is a profound truth.
In India, the biggest psychological cause of sectarian conflict is doubt and suspicion. Historical events have created a climate of distrust. But if we rise above these doubts, sectarian problems will disappear.
Once, I was flying to Europe. At the airport, there was dense fog, and sunlight wasn’t visible. Our plane took off in that darkness. But once it reached cruising altitude, I saw sunlight shining brightly above the clouds. The same is true for doubts. We often get trapped in them and forget that they are just a limited, artificial circle. A small effort can lift us beyond it—where we find clarity, peace, and light.
I know of a city where every year, a procession from one community would pass by the place of worship of another. Each year, tension would rise—the worshippers would protest, leading to hours of confrontation. But last year, they decided not to oppose. As a result, the procession passed in half an hour without any trouble. Opposition always leads to more opposition. If you don’t oppose, conflict dissolves by itself.
In another city, there were two old mosques under the Department of Archaeology. One was small, and the other ten times larger. Muslims eventually reclaimed the larger mosque peacefully, while the issue with the smaller one became a source of agitation. Why? Because political leaders turned it into a public campaign, raising tensions. But the larger mosque was reclaimed through quiet, local efforts—even gaining support from members of the other community. Today, a mosque and madrasa function there peacefully.
This shows that turning sensitive issues into mass movements only complicates them. But if wise, quiet efforts are made, the path to resolution becomes clear.
I also know of a town where Muslims were building a mosque and a madrasa. While digging the foundation, people from another community objected and said, “Move your wall back by two yards.” The officials agreed immediately and halted construction. The next day, elders from that community arrived and said, “Some of our youngsters acted ignorantly. We’ve explained things to them. Please go ahead with the construction as planned.” This shows how wisdom can dissolve conflict, even before it begins.
In truth, every problem arises from ignorance, and it can be resolved with wisdom. The same applies to sectarianism. Most conflicts are sparked by a few reckless individuals. If others respond with wisdom, every conflict can be resolved right from the beginning.
All India Radio, Bombay, 12 April 1987.
