Your Actions Are
Your Destiny
There is a Danish proverb: “Good fortune knocks at the door and asks, ‘Is wisdom at home?’”
This means that good fortune belongs to the wise, not the foolish. It is, in essence, the result that arises from acting with wisdom.
In every person’s life, there come moments when they can act wisely and shape a better future. These moments are a test of one’s wisdom and readiness to act. But such moments come suddenly—and you must recognise them within seconds.
The one who responds with clarity and good judgement at such moments succeeds.
The one who doesn’t—fails. Loss or failure is not fate—it is often the cost of one’s own mistake.
If you fail to recognise an opportunity, you will have to pay for it. Blaming others for your carelessness won’t help—because the price still has to be paid.
Bhartrihari, a renowned Sanskrit Scholar, rightly said: “Loss is simply missing the right time.”
And once that moment passes, no amount of blame or regret can bring it back.
You will find many people complaining about their time or fate. They say: “I had bad luck.” Or “If destiny had supported me, I would have surely succeeded.” Such statements may sound correct grammatically, but they carry no truth. Time is not a friend or enemy to anyone—it treats everyone equally.
Paul Scherer said something beautiful: “Today’s effort is tomorrow’s destiny.”
In truth, what we call destiny is nothing more than the result of our own effort.
In the scale of fate, everyone’s outcome is being weighed—but a person only receives as much as they have put into the scale of effort. In the marketplace of life, effort is the price of every success. The more someone works, the more reward they will receive.
There’s an old saying: “Opportunity only knocks once at your door.”
So if you miss your chance, don’t blame others—and don’t expect another knock if you’ve already ignored the first one.
A person who is constantly complaining is often too busy with their own noise to hear opportunity knocking again.
As someone wisely said in the Atharva Veda: “In my right hand is action, and in my left is victory.”
Action and success are inseparable—like a seed and a tree.
Only the one who plants the seed will see the tree grow.
Just as a seed needs proper conditions to grow into a tree, success also needs the right actions to become reality.
Where right effort is made, the desired outcome is guaranteed.
Remember: Every broken hope is the result of some laziness in effort. If you remain alert and active, nothing can truly harm you.
There’s a Czech saying that expresses this perfectly: “Misfortune always enters through the door that we ourselves have left open.”
Avoid Anger
Aristotle once said, “Anger always starts with foolishness and ends in regret.”
Anger is a state of emotional imbalance. In such a condition, no action remains moderate or wise. People often act impulsively when angry—and later regret their decisions, saying: “I wish I hadn’t done that.”
In countries like the United States, laws are enforced strictly. Even minor offences—such as littering or speeding—can result in immediate fines.
There’s a joke that illustrates this: Once, a driver was caught speeding on an American motorway where the speed limit was 55 mph. He had exceeded the limit, so the police stopped him and told him he would need to pay a $30 fine. Frustrated, the man—holding a lit cigarette—angrily flicked it onto the road. Without missing a beat, the officer said, “That’s $50 more for littering.”
If the man had simply paid the first fine quietly, it would have cost him $30. But his anger added another $50, turning the situation into an $80 lesson.
The best thing after making a mistake is to accept it quickly. As someone said:
“If you admit your mistake immediately, you get away cheaply. But if you delay or respond with anger, the price only increases.”
When a mistake is clear, refusing to admit it becomes stubbornness—and stubbornness is a greater mistake than the original one.
If a person even starts fighting the one pointing out the mistake, they lose their last chance of being forgiven. Their denial escalates the situation, and the other party may become even harsher.
Someone wisely said, “Soap removes stains from clothes, and confession removes stains from character.” Owning up to a mistake is the easiest way to defuse conflict.
When one side humbly admits its error, the other side softens immediately.
A sincere confession acts like cold water on a fire—cooling down even the strongest emotions.
There’s a story about a young man who was falsely accused of theft by a local shopkeeper. The young man got very angry, grabbed the shopkeeper’s collar, and started beating him. A crowd gathered. The argument escalated. People told the young man to apologise, but he refused.
The next day, both parties met again. Still, the young man wouldn’t say sorry.
Finally, the shopkeeper, who was much older, stepped forward, hugged the young man, and said, “If you’re not ready to apologise, then let me apologise to you. Let’s end this matter.”
The young man was stunned. The shopkeeper’s humility broke him.
He fell at the shopkeeper’s feet and said, “Please don’t apologise. You’re like a father to me. The mistake was mine. Please forgive me.”
Very few people are able to escape the damage caused by anger. But the truth is—it is both possible and easy to save yourself from it.
Anger is not permanent. It’s a temporary state triggered by external causes.
And anything temporary and external can be controlled—like stains that can be washed from clothing.
To avoid the negative effects of anger, all you need is this: Hold yourself back—just for a little while.
If you can pause for a moment when anger arises, you can save yourself from all the trouble that follows.
Thomas Jefferson gave a timeless piece of advice: “If you are angry, count to ten before speaking. If you are very angry, count to a hundred.”
This is a simple and practical method. It gives your mind the time it needs to shift gears.
And once your attention moves away from the anger, it will begin to cool naturally.
No Complaints
Thomas Carlyle once said, “Have you heard of the man who cursed the sun because it didn’t light his cigarette?”
This symbolic statement applies fully to many of us today.
You’ll find countless people complaining about the government, about neighbours, relatives, friends, and more. But the truth is, most complaints are baseless. They’re often just ways of blaming others for our own mistakes.
It’s like someone trying to light a cigarette with sunlight. When it doesn’t work, he starts blaming the sun. In reality, he should blame his own foolishness—not the sun in the sky.
Someone rightly said:
“The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment.”
Whenever you feel hurt by someone, reflect for a moment.
You likely expected more from that person than was realistic.
If you expect a wooden stick to behave like iron, what will you get except disappointment?
A person who only spoke kindly to you—you expected deep emotional support.
Someone whose only link with you was offering tea during visits—you expected them to spend money on you or fight your battles. A casual acquaintance—you believed they would become your lifelong friend. Someone who could be present in good times—you expected them to stand by you in your worst times. A person who acted nobly when things were smooth—you expected them to remain noble during crises as well.
All of these expectations go against reality. And in this world, anything that goes against reality simply cannot exist.
So it’s no surprise that such expectations were not fulfilled—and never will be. The secret to living well is this: Only expect what someone is actually capable of giving—nothing more. If you live by this principle, you’ll never be disappointed with anyone.
As someone once said, “The greatest secret to a peaceful life is being realistic.”
Hold on to this one simple rule, and you’ll never have a complaint against anyone: “Judge yourself by the same standard with which you judge others.”
Often, we get upset with someone’s actions. But if we pause and ask ourselves:
“If I were in their place, in that same situation, what would I have done?”
We’ll most likely realise that we would’ve done the same.
You often fall short of what others expect from you. Then, when others don’t meet your expectations, what right do you have to complain?
A person with a complaining nature suffers an added loss—they become resentful towards everyone and find it difficult to trust anyone. If you simply expect the sun to light your path, it will seem like a great blessing. But if you expect it to light your cigarette, and you point it towards the sun, it will start to seem useless to you. The truth is, every person has something to offer, but people give what they choose to give—not what you want to take.
When someone builds expectations that are too high, they find fault in everyone. They lose the ability to see the good in people. They end up feeling like they have no one. This thought is beautifully summed up in a Turkish proverb: “The one looking for a perfect friend will never find any friend.”
All India Radio, New Delhi,
15-17 December 1981.
