Letting Go of Anger

The Quran describes the believers as those “who forgive when they are angry.” (42:37)

According to a narration, a man came to the Prophet Muhammad and said, “O Messenger of God, teach me a few guiding words to live by, but keep them brief so that I may not forget them.” The Prophet replied, “Do not become angry.” (Muwatta Imam Malik, Hadith No. 1627)

In effect, the questioner was asking: What is the master advice for conducting the affairs of life properly? In reply, the Prophet gave the master formula: do not become angry. In other words, the secret of a successful life lies in what may be called the art of anger management.

Anger is a natural emotion. Every man and woman becomes angry at one time or another. When anger arises, it is as though a fire suddenly flares up in the mind. For a short while, a person loses self-control and feels like doing whatever is within his power. Yet anger is only a temporary emotion. If a person tries to defuse the tension of anger, it can cool down within a minute or two, and he can return to his normal state.

To answer anger with anger is to respond to negativity in a negative way. This is not the proper human response. The right way is to respond positively, even when negativity comes from another person.

Responding positively to negativity is not done for someone else; it is done first of all for oneself. When you become angry, or when a negative feeling flares up within you, you enter a state of intense mental disturbance. Your thinking process comes to a halt. This becomes your own problem. In such a situation, not answering anger with anger, and not becoming provoked despite provocation, is a course of conduct that benefits you before anyone else.

Not answering anger with anger means saving yourself. Its result is that no obstacle arises in the process of your intellectual development, and your spiritual journey continues without interruption.