DESERVING PARADISE
This world is a place of constant challenges. Both men and women face situations that test their character and resilience. Whatever a person experiences in life—whether gain or loss—is part of these challenges. One of the greatest tests for any individual is to continue living with kindness and harmony among others, even when they may cause hurt or discomfort.
For a woman, one of the most significant tests is her experience in her in-laws’ home. While she is in her parental home, she is surrounded by blood relations—her mother, father, brothers, and sisters. She sees them as her own, and so when unpleasant situations arise, they do not leave a deep mark.
Even in the parental home, there are frequent instances of discomfort or friction. Complaints and grievances are part of communal life; they occur everywhere. But in her parental home, such experiences are usually temporary. The bond of blood relations soon overrides any bitterness.
However, once a woman marries and moves to her in-laws’ home, the atmosphere changes completely. There, all relationships are non-biological. So, when she experiences friction or unpleasantness—even if it happens naturally, as it would anywhere—the absence of blood ties means these situations feel much heavier. What would have been forgotten quickly in her parental home becomes a lingering memory in her in-laws’ home. As a result, the same woman who lived peacefully in her own home may now feel overwhelmed in her new home.
This is the real test of a woman’s character: that she maintains the same spirit in her in-laws’ home as she did in her parental home. Just as she kept good relations with her family despite occasional grievances, she should do the same with her new family. The woman who, through her good character, turns her husband’s home into a model of peace and love is the one truly deserving of Paradise in the Hereafter.
Often, when a person—man or woman—fails their test in life, it is because they become entangled in psychological complexities with those closest to them. At times, these inner struggles overpower them to such an extent that they cannot rise above them. Success lies in being aware of this emotional vulnerability and maintaining one’s sense of duty despite it.
A woman has to interact with many people in her environment—both men and women. In this process, she may sometimes become angry at someone’s words, feel insulted by someone’s remarks, or feel jealousy and resentment toward another’s success. She may begin to suspect that certain individuals are hindering her progress. At times, excessive attachment and partiality toward her own children can push her toward irrational decisions.
These emotional patterns can be damaging to both personal well-being and one’s ability to lead a balanced, fulfilling life. It is important to rise above such feelings and move forward. Failing to do so may prevent a person from living up to the positive role life has made possible for them.
History offers many examples of women who made lasting contributions—both within their families and in the wider world. These were individuals of strong character who succeeded in overcoming emotional and psychological barriers.
This principle is not limited to women. It applies equally to men. Men, too, should treat their partners the way they would like to be treated. This idea is echoed in a well-known saying: “None of you truly believes until he wishes for others what he wishes for himself.” (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith No. 13875)
Becoming caught up in grievances only hinders your path to growth. But ignoring complaints and treating others well leads to the highest ranks of success.
