DIVISION OF RESPONSIBILITIES
According to a narration in Ibn Majah, the Prophet of Islam said:
“Among the things of the world, there is nothing better than a righteous wife.” (Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 1855)
A righteous woman has many qualities. One such quality is that, by virtue of her unique role, she becomes the best companion and most reliable advisor to her husband. To understand this aspect better, two examples are presented below:
1. The first revelation was sent to the Prophet of Islam while he was in the Cave of Hira near Makkah. This was a completely unexpected experience for him. When he emerged from the cave and returned home, he was trembling, as reported in the narrations. He said, “Cover me with a blanket.” Khadijah covered him. After some time, when his fear subsided, he described the entire incident to her that had taken place in the solitude of the cave. He said the experience was so intense that he feared for his life.
To comfort him, Khadijah said: “Never! By God, God will never disgrace you. You maintain ties of kinship, you bear the burden of others, you support the poor, you are hospitable to guests, and you help those afflicted by calamities.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith No. 3)
The words spoken by Khadijah were, without a doubt, the most fitting and reassuring words for that moment. But the question arises: how was she able to speak with such confidence at such a delicate moment?
The key reason was that she herself was not directly affected by the overwhelming experience. In life, we frequently encounter intense situations in which the person at the center of the issue is unable to form an objective opinion. At such times, it is essential to have an advisor who is not personally involved in the matter so they can offer insight with an unaffected mind. Lady Khadijah’s response is a prime example of this.
Islam established a principle of division of responsibilities between men and women. One of the many benefits of this division is precisely this: the woman is engaged in her domain and the man in his. As a result, both remain relatively uninvolved in the other’s domain, allowing each to view the other’s matters with a detached and unbiased perspective—and thus, provide trustworthy advice.
Through this division of roles, both man and woman gain a companion who can also serve as their most sincere and effective counselor.
2. When the Prophet concluded the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah with the Quraysh of Makkah, it caused deep unrest among the Companions. On the surface, the treaty seemed like a compromise, and several of its clauses clearly appeared to favour the opposition. The grief and frustration among the Companions was so intense that after the treaty was finalized, when the Prophet instructed them to sacrifice the animals they had brought and to shave their heads, not a single person stood up.
He repeated the instruction three times, yet all remained silent.
Distressed, the Prophet returned to his tent, where his wife Umm Salamah was present. Seeing him grieved, she asked what had happened. He replied, “Today something happened that has never happened before. I gave the Muslims a command, and none of them complied.”
Umm Salamah said, “O Messenger of God, if your decision is final, then go out to the field, and without saying a word to anyone, sacrifice your animal and shave your head.”
The Prophet followed her advice. He left the tent, said nothing to anyone, slaughtered his sacrifice, and called the barber to shave his head. When the Companions saw this, they all stood and followed suit, sacrificing their animals and shaving their heads—realizing that there was no other option. (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith No. 18910)
Similar to Khadijah, Umm Salamah was able to suggest a valuable course of action at a critical moment—precisely because she was not directly involved in the issue. This distance allowed her to form an opinion with a calm and objective mind. Had she been emotionally involved, such clarity might not have been possible.
