THREE STAGES
A woman goes through three major stages in her life. First, she lives with her parents as a daughter. Then, after marriage, she becomes a wife and joins her husband’s home. Finally, when she becomes a mother, she takes on the role of a parent.
These three stages are part of almost every woman’s life. Each comes with its own set of responsibilities, and a woman must fulfill them according to their demands in order to grow and ultimately achieve real success. These stages can be broadly categorized under three headings: Education, Household Management, and Raising the Next Generation.
In the first stage, when a woman is a girl, her most important responsibility is to acquire an education. This is the most formative period of life. As it has been said: “Seeking knowledge is a duty upon every Muslim man and woman.” (Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 224)
Education is the foundation of life. It is through education that a person becomes truly human. It sharpens the mind, helping one to understand both oneself and others. It enables a person to grasp the realities of this world and the Hereafter. A well-educated individual enters each stage of life with awareness and confidence, ready to fulfill responsibilities wisely.
A girl is like unshaped material when she is born. She possesses natural potential, but it is in raw form. Education activates and refines this potential—it is like turning iron into steel. Education transforms natural ability into meaningful achievement.
Education completes a woman’s personality. The more educated she is, the more capable she becomes in fulfilling her roles in life.
There are two essential aspects of education: secular education and religious education. Both are important for women, though their nature differs. Secular education equips a woman to handle the challenges of daily life. Religious education gives her a clear understanding of life’s ultimate purpose.
Secular education provides awareness of the world. It teaches how to think critically, form opinions, understand human psychology, recognize social needs, and engage with both national and global realities. This knowledge is crucial for a woman to fulfill her responsibilities effectively.
Religious education, on the other hand, provides meaning and direction in life. Every woman should have a foundational understanding of the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet of Islam. She should be familiar with the lives of the Prophet’s Companions—both men and women—and understand the core principles of Islamic history and its contributions.
Additionally, if she is able to learn Arabic, that would be excellent. Otherwise, she should regularly read and reflect on a translation of the Quran in her native language. The Quran is the foundation of faith, and without understanding it, one cannot truly grasp the essence of religion.
Following the Quran, she should study the Hadith (sayings of the Prophet) and his biography (Seerah). Again, if Arabic is not accessible, trustworthy books in her language can serve this purpose. These should be read with attention and consistency.
The biographies of the Prophet’s Companions and other notable figures in Islamic history are also available in various languages. A woman should read those that best suit her context, helping her develop deeper spiritual insight and intellectual awareness.
The second stage of a woman’s life begins with marriage. She becomes a wife and joins a new household. Her main responsibility in this phase can be summed up in one phrase: building a home. She is no longer just an individual—she becomes part of the foundation of society. Both she and society are incomplete without each other.
The key to a stable household lies in what the Quran calls kind treatment. Addressing men, the Quran states: “Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind; if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something which God might make a source of abundant good.” (Quran, 4:19)
Although this verse is directed at men, the spirit of the guidance applies equally to women. In household matters, personal likes and dislikes must take a back seat to mutual harmony and shared purpose. What may seem unpleasant at times could, in the larger context, hold great benefit. This attitude allows one to handle challenges with grace and maintain peace in the home.
The third stage begins when a woman becomes a mother. A new set of responsibilities unfolds—the task of raising the next generation. Every home is a small unit of the larger human society. A healthy society depends on the strength of its families. Therefore, a woman must dedicate herself to strengthening her home, which in turn contributes to the well-being of society.
A mother must provide her children with the best possible education and instill in them high moral values. She must prepare them to become honest, responsible members of society—individuals who fulfill the rights of others and seek the approval of God.
An Arabic proverb says: “Teaching in childhood is like carving on stone.” (Fath al-Bari by Ibn Hajar, Vol. 8, p. 702)
This shaping of a child’s character is the work of the mother. If a woman fully commits to this task, the child she raises becomes a valuable asset to humanity—not a burden.
The complete woman is the one who fulfills all three of these responsibilities with excellence.
