GOOD SOCIAL CONDUCT
In the Quran, a comprehensive directive is given to believing men and women. Its translation is as follows:
“Surely all believers are brothers. So make peace between your brothers, and fear God, so that mercy may be shown to you. Believers, let not some men among you ridicule others: it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor should some women laugh at others: it may be that the latter are better than the former. Do not defame or be sarcastic to one another, or call each other by [offensive] nicknames. How bad it is to earn an evil reputation after accepting the faith! Those who do not repent are evil-doers. Believers, avoid much suspicion. Indeed, some suspicion is a sin. And do not spy on one another and do not backbite. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? No, you would hate it. Fear God—God is ever forgiving and most merciful.” (49:10-12)
These verses address both believing men and women. The path to well-being for both is the one described here.
How should believing men and women live with one another? The answer can be given in a single phrase: as brothers and sisters live with one another. Biological brothers and sisters live together with affection due to their blood ties. Similarly, spiritual brothers and sisters should live together with affection and goodwill.
Why does a person mock another? It is often because they do not want to acknowledge the other’s virtues. Every person has an innate desire to be seen as superior. That is why, when someone finds a weak spot in another, they highlight it—to make the other seem smaller and satisfy their own desire for superiority.
Such individuals mock others, find faults in them, and use offensive labels—all in order to affirm their own sense of being greater than others.
However, the true measure of what is good or bad, or who is high or low in status, is not what any person arbitrarily decides. Good is what is considered good in the sight of God, and bad is what is seen as bad in His eyes.
If a person—man or woman—truly internalizes this understanding, then their desire to feel superior will fade. Mocking others, ridiculing them, pointing out their flaws, calling them by hurtful names—all of these will appear meaningless. For they will know that the real judgment of rank and status belongs to God. In such a case, if I consider someone inferior, but they are honoured in the eternal world of the Hereafter, then how meaningless my perception will have been.
When a man or woman harbours ill thoughts about someone, everything about that person starts to seem wrong. Their mind turns negative toward them. They begin to focus more on their flaws than their strengths. They may even find pleasure in speaking about their faults to diminish their honour. This behaviour runs entirely against faith and moral consciousness.
In truth, many social problems stem from suspicion and ill assumptions. That is why every person must stay alert and avoid letting suspicion enter their mind under any circumstance.
If you hear something negative about someone, verify it first. If you find yourself having doubts about someone, speak to them directly about it. It is deeply unethical and contrary to Islamic values to speak ill of someone behind their back, especially when they are not present to defend themselves.
Occasionally, a person—whether man or woman—may fall into this kind of mistake. But if they are truly God-conscious, their sense of moral accountability will immediately alert them. They will not persist in their wrongdoing but will seek forgiveness and abandon such behaviour.
At first glance, this command may appear to be directed specifically at Muslims. However, it is not limited to the Muslim community. This high standard of moral conduct is to be upheld in dealings with all people, regardless of their background. The Prophet of Islam said: “Behave with people with good character.” (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith No. 21354)
And the Quran declares: “He does not forbid you to deal kindly and justly with anyone who has not fought you on account of your faith or driven you out of your homes: God loves the just.” (60:8)
